Anyone who has been single for any length of their life groans when V-day approaches. The day were your love status, or lack there of is on display for the world to see. And I'll admit that as a single gal, I had that same dread and hatred. Amazingly, it only takes one Valentine's Day done right to imbue the day with eternal love and hopefulness.
Prior to my life with Chuck, my timing was horribly mismatched with Valentine's Day. Either I was heartsick in love with the unattainable, newly broken-up or in relationships that eluded the need to publicly declare one's love (ie "friends with benefits"). Regardless of how I ended up there, each V-Day of my adult life found me officially unattached and feeling like I'm failing at a basic life requirement. Yes, that's a dramatic statement. But during those years, I seriously wondered if I'd ever find someone to share my life completely with. And it's from this space that I moved into my first Valentine's Day with Chuck.
Valentine's Day for us came within the first 3 months of our relationship. That passionate and mystical wooing period where each date brims with excitement and electricity. And in our hearts we already knew the dye was cast, we were each other's mate. We were just holding our breaths awaiting for time to confirm this emotional knowledge as fact.
Before I start into the story I'll let you in on a secret, Chuck ended up planning the most romantic, sweet and lovely night of my life. As I sit here years later rebounding from life's trajectory and all we endured, I'm so grateful to Chuck for being my first true Valentine. And no matter what happens for the rest of my life that will always be part of Chuck's legacy living in me.
Chuck did make one BIG mistake in all his planning, he asked me if I would mind getting flowers at work. So as Valentine's Day dragged on, when bouquet after bouquet delivered and none of them were for me, I sunk deeper into doubt, confusion and anger. Until his question a few days prior to the big day, I had NO expectations of flowers at work. I'd have had a lovely day looking forward to that evening. And to make matters worse when I was reaching out for reassurance of his voice, he wasn't picking up the phone.
After a long day at the office, I wrestled with myself on the bus the whole way home. He placed the expectation, why didn't he follow through? And then started the downward spiral of blame on myself for hoping that this time was different. Was I misreading our relationship totally? Was I out on a limb by myself again? All the evil doubts that creep into a woman's mind when a relationship is still in the formative stages and she's feeling vulnerable. Climbing the stairs to my apartment, I was deeply rooted in a fit of confusion and disappointment. Feverishly trying to shake it off and get my head righted for our romantic dinner date.
And then, I entered my tiny studio apartment. Immediately the disorientation of change hit me. In the center of my place was a little table draped with a crisp white table cloth and a creme and grey vase bursting forth with 3 dozen beautiful dark red roses. The apartment smelled exquisite. Various imported chocolates and a sweet card encircled the vase. Then my gaze wandered over to my bed and I caught my breath. Chuck had bought me a down comforter and made up the bed complete with 2 crossing long stemmed red roses and rose petals. It was intimate, romantic and so lovely. I burst into happy, relieved tears.
This time Chuck did pick up the phone when I called. He'd taken the day off work to create this Valentine. Trips to Trader Joes, Ikea, dry cleaners and back to my apartment to set the stage. He was so excited that he didn't want to talk to me until he was sure I was home for fear of ruining the surprise. So sweet, so thoughtful and so Chuck. In the end, I thanked my lucky stars that I did not get a hold of him any earlier. And learned a valuable lesson on how unnecessarily damaging expectations can be.
Chuck wasn't the only one that helped orchestra romance that evening. I had a few tricks up my own sleeve. Found a gorgeous and seductive red and black lace dress for the occasion. After some primping and makeup, I looked stunning. My gifts were a little more traditional - a pair of cards, silk boxers and a romantic CD. While card shopping I found this lovely card with a whimsical painting of 2 lovers sitting on the moon. It reminded me of "Fly Me to the Moon" and upon further reflection, the song seemed perfect for us. I loved that it was timeless, sentimental and bit old fashion like Chuck. It captures such an expression of love and happiness. I wrote out the song lyrics as a love poem to Chuck in that card. And while Frank Sinatra would be the obvious choice, I chose to gift Chuck with Diana Krall's version and her Live In Paris CD. Love her smokey silky voice and that the sentiment was coming from the feminine point of view. The whole album is very heartfelt and set an amorous mood as we drove to the restaurant.
Our dinner destination was also my choice. Serafina is a very well-known rustic Italian restaurant with fabulous food and such a lovely romantic atmosphere. We had an inviting little cozy table for 2. The dinner was enchanting in all aspects. That night Serafina become our place, our special place where we'd later celebrate engagements, birthdays, remissions and anniversaries. And there was a delightful four piece jazz quartet playing. At one point Chuck snuck off with a tip and request for them to play Fly Me to the Moon. That night is one of those magically moments in which time stood still and it's forever preserved as perfection. "Here, right here. I am overflowing with love and happiness. Remember this always."
We made our way back to what would become our home. Chuck had me sit on the couch with my eyes closed until he was ready. I opened my eyes to a transformed living room bathed in candle light with dozens of pink roses on the table. A rose petal path lead to a bedroom lit with dozens of candles, champagne, chocolate and rose petals everywhere. And a new matching down comforter for his place so I'd never be cold. So sweet and beautiful. Chuck had thought of everything. He even had his laptop set up to provide mood music for the evening. And we fell into a wave of love and romance.
I'll keep the intimate details to myself. A girl never kisses and tells. Except for the ending of the story. At one point Chuck glanced over at his computer and noticed something was horribly wrong. He misjudged and placed a set of candles on the shelf above his laptop which now were dripping hot wax onto his keyboard. A string of obscenities broke the spell and we rushed over to save the electronic. I whisked it away from him and soothingly set out to reassure. I spent over an hour picking dried wax out of his keyboard. Finally we got the poor computer to the point that only the D key was sticking a bit. Exhausted, we fell into a deep sleep around 3 am.
We each had very different stories of love coming out of our Valentine's night.
For me, Chuck provided the most romantic and thoughtful night of my life. All of those unfulfilled dreams of the past were erased and healed. I felt loved, truly seen, cherished and blessed. My dreams were safe with him.
For Chuck, it was equally important to have that perfect Valentine romance for I was his first true Valentine too. But the real story for him was that without a single thought or exasperation, I shifted out of my romantic evening to salvage his computer. And I worked tireless to reassure him until it was complete. It was in those moments that he felt the most loved, truly seen and blessed. And yes, it indeed was safe for him to dream of a life with me.
So with the finishing of my tale, I wish everyone a lovely Valentine's Day today. A celebration and remembrance of all the love ones in your life - sweethearts, family and friends.
Happy Valentine's Day.
And to you my sweetest Chuck ~ I am sending my love and this song to you across the cosmos. Today, I chose this version of our song with the added remembrance of watching these very fountains on our wedding day and honeymoon. Happy Valentine's Day my love.
Note - just clip on the annoying pop-up to make them disappear during the viewing. ENJOY!