Time is not my friend. A significant milestone is passing me by as I sleep tonight. Life beyond Chuck is now longer than life with him. It's not something I've been ticking down to or circled on a calendar to commemorate. Just an internal knowing and the alarm sounded last night. Missing erupts through the surface when my defenses are at their breaking point - late Sunday night most likely. Whispers you should be here. Tears bubble forth in sacrifice once more to drain the river of sorrow that streams through my heart.
It dawned on me as I was swept away last night I'm on the edge of time doubling on itself. Promised myself that I wouldn't mourn longer than I loved you. A broken promise. Hoped by now to have authored a new love chapter or two. Forgot my love life unfolds in heavy bound novels. I love hard and long. Years pass in my process of letting go, well before death do us part entered the picture.
I know grief does not have an expiration date and neither does love. Yes, it hurts less most of the time. Yes, I'm enjoying my rebuilt life. But the echo in the hollow space were you resided still brings me to tears. And the missing of you aches to my core.
Yes my dear, I know the time you will need to share me with another is fast approaching. I feel you welcoming it, urging me along. I feel my readiness becoming more steadfast.
Someday soon...
Comments