Once in college a professor asked us to sketch out a 5, 10, 15, 20 year plan. Where do you see your life professionally, personally in 5 year time increments? After much soul searching, I laid out my blueprint. Her only comment was "Where are your dreams in here? Everything is practical and logical to achieve." Spend thousands on an education and it's this statement that's had the most vivid impact.
As time marched on, my evolving and soul defining experiences have occurred when I've followed my dreams. Moving to Seattle sight unseen and jobless - a crazy, gutsy and bold leap. Yet Seattle's fertile ground has me rooted and oh, how I've blossomed.
Then, there is Chuck. Prior to our relationship my greatest hope was to find my soulmate. But it took years of failed unions before I did the hard work to be honest about what I really needed and wanted in partnership. No more ambiguity disguised as flexibility. Once I dreamed the life, courage and conviction to say NO to offers that didn't match became my guiding principle. Chuck appeared close on the heels of my decision. Our relationship contained everything I truly needed in partnership and lots of sparkling surprises.
As I've rebuilt through the dark years that old struggle against dreaming has resurfaced. The lovely life that we dreamed to build together burned to the ground. I'm arising from it's ashes. Too vulnerable to define my heart's desire for fear of losing it all... again. Yet knowing it's the leap of faith from a place of vulnerability and hope that weaves dreams into reality.
Time to start dreaming of possibilities.
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