The snow globe of my life has been shaken up this past week and the contents are starting to shift back together. Traveling home always brings the wave of nostalgia and wonder on how my life would be had I kept close to my roots. Who would I have become? How different would life be?
The heart of the matter is the driving force that propelled me to leave the Steel City. I knew in the depth of my being that never finding out who I could be on my own would be a regret I'd wrestle with the rest of my life. To paraphrase a conversation I had with my friend D on my visit "To live all that is truly inside your heart frees you. To be afraid of it and keep it buried imprisons you."
And I love Seattle and the life I've built. All the ways living here has molded and shaped the woman I've become today. Loves, friendships, family, the peek-a-boo mountains, the grounding bodies of water, the markets, the salt air and gut feel of being where I belong. Never regretted the decision to leave. However, trips home to Pittsburgh brightly illuminate the price tag I've paid for following my heart.
It takes awhile for those snowflakes to settle. And to be able to clearly see the landscape again.
Comments