Visited by a brief moment of clarity today, while I was singing in the car on drive home. Just how spectacularly beautiful Chuck's love lit up my heart. And oh, how much I miss it.
You may think that this would be a given like the blood coursing through my veins. Or breathing in and out. But life has a funny way of overwhelming simple truths. Building conflicts and walls around the things we hold most dear to us. Is the attempt to numb and insulate ourselves from the pain? Or does the routine chores of living erode our heart's desires?
There's a painting of a huge heart on my wall inscribed with love quotes that I bought Chuck right after the cancer resurged. He love it and thought it was written just for us. The verse that captured the essence of us is "To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart and to sing it to them when they have forgotten."
My love Chuck, I've forgotten the melody. How I'd give anything to hear you sing it loudly, jangled out of tune. Filling up my heart once more.
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