Evolving Sweetie

Results

Reminded this morning that I did blog about my recent health scare and that followup is required. Thanks S! The fabulous news is that I'm not battling the Big C. Whew!  The disturbing news is that the changes seen in my mouth needed to be cleaned out. And the spots were the first level of "pre-cancer". While the biopsies cleaned out the effected tissue and were treated, it's be up to me and my dental team to keep a focused eye for new changes. Awareness is the first step.

Lucky? Yes! But after what we went through with Chuck's cancer, I'm hyper sensitive to changes in that area. Here's a clear case for being aware of your body and investigating things that maybe scary to you. The earlier you find something - the better.

And how to proceed from here? This is a HUGE wake-up call for me to take my health and stress levels seriously. All signs point to an immune system under mass amounts of stress is fertile ground for breeding chaos. Weight needs to come off, healthier eating patterns established, and a practice of daily stress relief activities are ALL necessary. 

And drawing a clear boundary between work and personal time is a must. I've a tendency to let this one drift too many times out of habit or duty when picking again tomorrow may yield the similar results. Of course, schedule drives many additional work hours. But I need to be smarter about stepping away for the night when that rush task is complete. Versus riding the wave of adrenaline to polish up a few more things. Not respecting my personal time consistently shorts my time and energy to cook healthy, get consistent exercise and engage in activities that call in happiness. And a downward spiral of stress and depression creeps in it's wake. 

Striving for better balance to create the best me possible.

LiveStrong Challenge - Seattle 2010

Up early for the Livestrong Challenge this fine Father's Day morning. It's the 2nd year for Seattle. Over $800K raised in the fight against cancer.  All funds raised go towards working for a cure or providing resources for survivors and families in the battle of their lives. Truly admirable in this economy, on this day.

Today was my 4th Livestrong event. Each one is touching and special. Our groomsmen and friend Mark joined the Peloton this year and rode the 45 mile route, mostly in the rain. My sister, brother-in-law and my lovely nieces walked in honor of our lost Chuck. I brought cowbells that the girls and I had a grand time ringing loud and proud, cheering on everyone. There can never be enough cowbell! And the rains held at bay on all us walkers. 

Livestrong for me is about celebrating the human spirit. Seeing all those survivors overcome and walk or ride. It's about community - knowing that many others walk this journey through cancer and in unity there is empathy, strength and support. It's giving a voice to the fight and taking a stand.

And most intimately, it's about Chuck. For honoring what he accomplished, how he faced life and most notably cancer, and how deep and profound his missing is in our lives. My husband, our friend, brother, uncle, son ... shoes that can not ever be filled. I opted this morning to celebrate, remember and cheer. It wasn't until I was waiting at the threshold for Mark to come rolling in that the tears of grief started to flow. For I alone carry the memory of how proud, overjoyed and grateful Chuck was went he crossed the finish line and collapsed into me in a tearful hug. Reminded of the knowledge that he will never ride again.

Thank you to all for your support!!!

Livestrong!

POSTCARDS from Livestrong Seattle 2010

 
Mark queued up for 45 mile ride.

Riders are OFF!

  
Aunt Jeannette & Mairead

Heather & Emmie

The Family!

 
Sisters

Finish line in sight

 

 

 
     Mark soaked at the end of a long ride. 

LIVESTRONG!!!  

 

Lessons Learned

Some where in the last handful of years I've learned some hard won lessons. Maybe it falls in the category of not borrowing trouble. Or preservation of precious energy and resources. But I'm proud to say, they were BIG ones.

For the past few months I've had a few spots in my mouth that were troublesome - abnormal. Given my personal experience with Chuck's oral cancer, I'm pretty aware and vigilant about noticing changes in that area. We both have/had a significant risk factor (not the traditional smoking or drinking). And I know oh too well what road changes in this area can lead too.

Lesson #1 - No matter how scary the outcome can be, get it checked! This may seem like a no brainer as the sooner you catch the big C the higher your chances of fighting the battle successfully into survivorship. It's a scary journey and the denial is a powerful force. However, it's vitally important to know what you are dealing with. And if it is a benign symptom of something else, that piece of mind is pure GOLD that will go a long way to protecting your future health.

Needless to say, I got into my Dentist right away and had the changes looked at. Although he suspected that cancer was not at play here. After 2 months of watching with out other changes, we decided on getting further testing through an oral surgeon or ENT.

Lesson #2 - Trust your gut. Without much hesitation I scheduled my followup appointment with Chuck's surgeon. He's the best in the city and frankly if I'm facing the worst case scenario he is the one I want in my corner. Yes, it brings the baggage of all the memories surrounding Chuck's illness, but honestly those memories pop up anytime I'm at the dentist or dealing with mouth issues. At least I'm surrounded by people that know Chuck's and my history. And I know he'd be kind and frank with me one way or the other. On a side note - if anyone ever needs an ENT for Seattle, call me for this referral.

Last week's appointment at the ENT lead to yesterday's procedure under general anesthesia, biopsies and a throat scope. He too concurred that he thought things would be "perfectly BENIGN", but we needed to have a look up close and personal. Much better safe than sorry.

Lesson #3 - Don't panic. This one was HUGE for me. While I told the closest people in my life what was happening, I adopted a very matter of fact attitude. Although painfully aware of what these changes could mean, I employed some help on sifting out other symptoms we observed with Chuck's case that were missing here. Unexplained weight loss, rapid growth etc. I allowed myself a very short window of a day or 2 to ponder that worse case scenario and feel the fear. Made sure that I had some help on board. And then - as amazing as this is - let go of the fear and anxiety. 

Engaged in a very Zen mind set and let it sit in the unknown. The truth is it already is what it is. If it's not cancer than I'd create months & days of stress in my body that would be harmful to my health long term. I've enough stresses to work out of my body and soul from the last 5 years. And if it is cancer pre-worrying and stressing throughout this time would squander precious energy and resources would be necessary for the battle ahead. Yes, it definitely helped that the medical professional were all leaning towards a benign verdict. Absolutely. But we've been in the small percentage every time with Chuck's illness. And I know too much in this particular area.

While I don't have the official lab results yet, all signs point to Benign. Many more areas of my mouth were biopsied that I expected. But there was a tech with a microscope looking at the tissues in the surgery arena. The Dr said everything looked good to him. 

It's worth the pain of recovery and inconvenience of a few days of missed work to know the truth. My instincts tell me that it's already ok and the results will confirm that soon. Hopefully they will point us in the direction of why this is happening so I can take other actions. And I'll continue to stay present in the now.

Thanks to my listening to my instincts and hard won wisdom even in the face of something so terrifying, peace is mine. 

Outdoor Seating is Now Available

In the warmer months, my favorite part of my condo is the deck. There are 2 large oak trees sheltering my condo. Sitting in my living room and deck feels like you are living in a tree house. A grown-up tree house with cocktails that is. 

With getting the P-Patch garden in order this spring, the deck was dormant longer than usual. Surprising what 3-4 hours of work, 2 large lawn bags of waste, trips to 2 nurseries and 2 bags of potting soil can accomplish. Unfortunately, the Japanese Maple didn't weather well over the winter. Nursing it this season in hopes it will be enough to revive it for next year. Fingers crossed.

The kitties and I have been loving having breakfast and dinner out on the veranda. It's a soothing and relaxing space.

POSTCARDS from my deck

Starting Mess 1

Starting Mess 2

Chandler found the catnip

Look at these beauties

Out with the old, time to put in the new

 

Finished view from the door

Finished view from the table

Current view from the Street Level        

How Does Your Garden Grows

The amount of peace and joy I've received from my first few months of P-Patch gardening is immeasurable. Connection to the earth and my neighbors. Marveling in the blooms and cycles of the plants. Hearing the early morn calls of the birds and the evening groans of the frogs. It's been a soul nurturing project.

So far, I've gotten weeks of lettuce, kale and swiss chard harvests. And in the last week started pulling lots of sugar and snap peas. Harvested about 15 gallon bags full of produce thus far. More than enough to share with some interested friends.

Last weekend I planted the tomato, zucchini and pepper starts - it's too cold here to start from seed. 6 hours of weeding, harvesting and planting was grueling, but well worth it. This week's project is to clean out the last 3 feet of space, sow some herbs, carrots and parsnips in, and start thinking about the garden's needs for fall and overwintering vegetables. 

One of these days I need to wander over and photograph the whole garden with my good camera. For working days, the little point and shoot works just fine.

Enjoy!

POSTCARDS from early June in my Garden P-Patch 

 

    

 

   POSTCARDS from my fellow P-Patchers bounty

Happy Gardening!    

First Ballgame

Saturday, the family headed to Safeco Field to take in the Mariners vs the Angels game. What a beautiful, sunny day. Perfect for spending at the ball park. An enjoyable game until the Angels destroyed us in the 6th. Unfortunately, that's par for the course this season.

The game was special to us as it was Mairead & Emmie's first major league baseball game. They did pretty well and definitely enjoyed the treats. Mairead put up with her Aunt trying to explain some of the rules of the game. Loved sharing my lap and love of the game with her. Fun way to spend quality time visiting and enjoying the afternoon.

There was 7 of us split into 2 sections of VERY GOOD seats. THANKS MIKE!!! Spent the first part of the game with Heather & the girls. And the other half visiting with Kevin & Sandy. 

Take me out to the ball-game.

A lovely afternoon.

POSTCARDS from Safeco Field

3rd baseline sets

Heather & the Girls.

First base seat views

Ichiro

The Moose

Mairead 

Girls with their Moose. Yes - I am the culprit 

Girls with Grandpa & Mimi

Mike & Emmie leaving the game

Bye-Bye Safeco Field - see you next time

    

           

Thanks for the Memories Junior

Today Ken Griffey,Jr retired from Major League Baseball. 

630 Home Run Hitter. 

Undoubtedly, a first round inductee to Cooperstown.

Retired a Seattle Mariner. In the city, he raised to be a baseball town. 

Mariners #24 needs to be retired along with you.

Personally, it's a melancholy day. Griffey - the one who made me fall in love with baseball all over again. His smile, spirit, athleticism and pure talent, an absolute joy and privilege to behold. Wish we could've given you a proper and royal send off. One last standing ovation to seal in your memory how loved you are in our corner of the world.

Thank you for the wonderful memories Junior! 

POSTCARDS of Griffey from Spring Training 2010

 

         

 

We'll miss you Griffey! Happy Retirement!