Wish - I had a picture for each day we were together. To have some tangible link to those all those precious, everyday moments. Moments that were meant to last a forever. And they did last a lifetime... yours.
"I've been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel"
And the pictures, they can blindside you. An article, or hollywood generated scene and BAM... there you are reliving a horrifying moment you scarcely lived through. Watching as poison courses through your husband's veins. Helpless, terrified and willing all your strength to not rip the treacherous tubes from his body.
And here comes the sharp inhale of breath as your heart cracks open once again. And the tears come streaming forth on the exhale.
These pictures give voice to your inner demons. Did I do enough for you my love? Was I present enough to hold your hand during the worst times? What else could I have done? And the assault goes round and round until I collapse in a heap of exhaustion. Sending the questions scurrying on the winds to be answered in another undisclosed time and place.
Tonight as I lay my head down, I'd give all that I have to feel your arms around me... soothing me to sleep. Instead of the urgent need to conjure up your memory to lull me as I drift away.
"There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more
than to never feel I'm breaking apart my pictures of you"
Pictures of You - by the Cure
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