Evolving Sweetie

Recipe Monday - Sept 28th

Best laid plans of mice and men...I'm a few Monday's shy on this venture. And unfortunately, I also don't have pictures of the last 2 recipes as I made them to be served elsewhere.

Both recipes are from my latest go to baking book The Art & Soul of Baking by Sur La Table which was ranked as a top 2009 ICAP cookbook. It's written by Cindy Mushet a pastry chef & baking instructor. It is fascinating. Until I win the lotto and can sign up for pastry classes this will do beautifully.  The first recipe I tried was peanut-butter brownies to share with my colleagues. While it didn't WOW me over, a lot of my male coworkers really enjoyed it as its not a very sugary treat. There is a subtle balance between salty and sweet. The brownies are cake-like texture, rather than the gooey melt in your mouth goodness. But it definitely was a hit. Only crumbs were left by lunchtime. 

The second venture was to try my hand at Flan for our gourmet dinner club. The theme was Spain/Argentina with Paella as the main course. This was a real skill builder exercise for me as I had never made a custard dessert or carmel. Enjoyed reading through the lessons on custards and how to make each version. It's the amount of egg included that gives each type of custard it's consistency and nuance. Flan is the only version that is unmolded and contains the highest egg ratio. 

My friend M & I decided to do a practice run of our dishes since we were both trying completely new skills. For the initial attempt I ran the recipe to the letter. We all agreed that the citrus did not fit. And blamed a bitterness to the carmel on the lime. But the addition of the white chocolate created a smooth and velvety custard. 

For the actual dinner I borrowed the spicing from Tyler Florence's Flan recipe and infused the milk with a vanilla bean and cinnamon stick. It produced a lovely dimensional flan. Unfortunately, the carmel sauce turned out burnt tasting again. B was able to diagnose the problem - my pan. The better pans with thick heat distributing bases take too long to heat to the right temperature and can't be cooled down fast enough. It took 5-7 minutes longer to get the sugar and water to the point where the syrup changes from clear to colored. At least we solved the problem. Just need to pick up a cheaper pan for making candy. Who knew!

I'm throughly enjoying reading and baking my way through this cookbook. It's a great resource that I'd highly recommend.

Choosing Health

Finally getting some traction on the goal of getting healthy. The last few weeks has seen appointments to the doctor and dentist to get the overall state of the union. And plans to strengthen my foundation are in order. And a tall order it is. The good news is that nothing's so far gone that some lifestyle changes and work won't rectify the situations. How did I become 40+ years old, feeling like I'm in the 50s?!? Life happened.

My first order of business is to reverse the last handful of years and their visible effects. Grief, care-taking and stress have added close to 30 lbs to my frame. There are so many choices I've made in a grief-stricken haze to provide comfort. To apply a bandage to stop my soul from hemorrhaging my life away. And all those actions helped me get through to where I am today - in one piece and hopeful about the next chapters of my life. 

It's time to hush it inner critic, let guilt and shame go. There is no room for beating myself up and taking positive action in the same space. They'd just cancel each other out and leave exhaustion the wake. To those 30 lbs I "affectionately" have dubbed the cancer weight, thank you for providing the comfort and protection from the world at large while I loved, fought and mourned. You've helped insulate me from situations that I was not yet equipped to handle and gifted me with the time to work my emotions through to a livable balance. Your serves are no longer necessary. I'm setting you free.

And thus my first milestone is set. The aim is to be back to my wedding weight by my next anniversary - 6 months from now. Stay tuned.

Dreaming About You

It's been a while since I've posted. Life has been hectic. Last weekend was filled with friends and family and alot of fun. The work week has been crazy busy and long. Busy is a good thing, but that means little home time and only energy to veggie and snuggle the kitties. Thankfully, I'm upon the weekend once again.

Something wonderful did happen this week. I dreamt of Chuck. While this is quite possibly a nightly, non-news worthy occurrence I only remember a handful of dreams each year. And most he is in the subject matter, but doesn't appear. Early tuesday morning I dreamt about coming home from a long trip. As the train was pulling into the station, I watched him excitedly pacing the platform in anticipation of seeing me. The push of the crowds kept us separated throughout moving through the station. Figuring we'd meet up at home, I suddenly was in my childhood living room and he was not. Some moments of sadness passed and the doorbell rang. As I opened the door a rush of friends and family crowded the doorway. And there he was on the porch corner radiant, smiling and lovingly waiting his turn to greet me. A flood of love, joy, relief and peace washed over me. Then I awoke.

Content wise it's not that exciting of a dream. But the remembrance of how Chuck moved in the world, healthy and whole; and how he looked at me as my lover, partner and friend was much needed medicine to my soul. Even throughout this frantic week it grounded me like I've not been in a long time. 

The memory of being loved echos on.

A Wish for Peace

Today, I wish for peace and healing for our nation. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones. For this day - I remember.

Easy Solution - A

Ok - I'm going to wax poetic on a cleaning appliance. I know that's pretty lam! But I discovered the Scotch-Brite cooktop cleaner this weekend. It rocks for those of us that have a flat top stove. It's basically a handle with a solution soaked pad. Cleaned up very hard baked on stains in a fraction of the time and effort. I'll happily buy the replacement pads and save many hours of frustrated scrubbing. 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Not Enough Time

It's funny that no matter how much time you have, it's never enough. This was a very low-key holiday weekend for me. I saw a few friends a couple nights - but mostly was a home body. Needed major cocoon time. Missed a few exciting plans because I just wasn't up for it. Some weekends are like that.      

And although I made headway on chores this weekend, there is always so much more to do. Granted, I didn't work in a non-stop, possessed manner. Alas, it astounds me how little I got accomplished this weekend. Guess I just needed a puttering, meandering weekend to recharge some of my batteries. 

That worked for me just fine.

Recipe Monday - Sept 7th

The rains have come back to the PNW this labor day weekend. Feels like fall is definitely upon us. And for me fall means batches of soup and stews.  Saturday - I left a chicken stock simmering most of the afternoon. Love when my house smells of chicken and herb goodness. A tip I read recently to keep stock from taking so much space in the freezer - freeze it in ice cube trays and then pack them in a zip lock bag. 2 cubes = 1/4 cup. Brilliant. 

Back to my soup. This week I simmered up the Barefoot Contessa's  Italian Wedding Soup from her Back to Basics cookbook (click on Italian Wedding Soup link to go to the recipe). Wedding Soup was always one of my favorite growing up in Pittsburgh. It's rare to find here in Seattle. I remember having it at weddings and in college at a local tavern. Brings me happy memories from my roots, so I'm always in search for a recipe to match up to my recollection. This recipe is tasty. I love the dill twist, although I think parsley is more traditional. Needed to add some bouillon to the stock and additional pepper. It's worth searching out Acini Pepe (small pasta dots) or stars as the pasta. The carbohydrate is just a supporting cast member here - the real standouts are the chicken meatballs and the veggies. 

All in all it's a lovely soup. I give it a A-.

Italian Wedding Soup:

Aromatics roasting up

Italian Meatballs fresh from the oven

It's soup

Photo log - Arizona

Finally I've started to work on all the photo books I've been planning. It'll be a long project to catalog my digital memories. I made a bargain with myself to help facilitate the process. All trips that I want to memorialize independently, I will utilize pre-existing templates on Iphoto, Shutterfly or Kodak gallery. The yearbooks are where I will concentrate on scrapbooking. Some of my trips have 1,000s of photos to work through. If I custom design them all - nothing will ever get done. Plus, I can always do a few pages from the trip in the annuals with my special touch.

Shutterfly was running a sale on photo books recently. Worked up a few albums to take advantage of the discount. I also negotiated with my guilty conscience that I would alternate my projects between time with Chuck and my life beyond Chuck. Its critically important for me to write the stories down. But the pressure and emotionality of doing so has made me walk away from scrapbooking for 2+ years now. This guideline helps me relax about it. 

The first book I jumped into from our life was our honeymoon in Arizona. Found myself to be very enchanted and charmed by our trip. Maybe enough time has passed to allow the space for me be just grateful for that week we shared. I want to share a few images of that trip that were my favorites as I put the book together. 

It was a beautiful time.

POSTCARDS from Arizona 

First destination - Hoover Dam

Second Destination - The Grand Canyon

Third destination - Sedona

Sunday Aug 30th date with the Nieces - Part 3

The last destination was the little arcade on the waterfront that has a carousel. If there is a carousel in the vicinity we must ride it! Believe me, they know if one is around.

Also threw in a few games of air hockey and wack-a-mole or in this case wack-a-rat. Ended up with enough tickets for each girl to get a princess tattoo and a sheet of fish stickers. Whew - what a great date!

POSTCARDS from the Waterfront Carousel.

Ready, Steady, Go!

Round & round

Artist shot 1

Artist shot - 2

Emmie

Mairead - our horse girl

Sunday Aug 30th date with the Nieces - Part 2

After running our paces at Fisherman's Terminal, we headed down to the Seattle Aquarium. I love seeing how much their interaction with the exhibits changes as they age. We timed things well this trip. There were divers in the new and very impressive Window on the Sound exhibit. Student face painters were there - which is always a huge hit. Mairead got a purple dolphin and Emmie a pink whale. 

As luck would have it, we got to see the Tropical fish and the Fur Seals being feed. Very impressed with the girls patience and engagement during the showings. I remember many days when all they'd want to do is press the brightly colored whale sound buttons. Emmie & I had to practically drag Mairead away from the awesome interactive computerized whale recording display. 

And as a good Aunt, we made our way to the gift shop for a treat. Mairead picked a set of beads for making jewelry and Emmie lit up when she saw the pink seahorse. She keep kissing it and singing little songs to her seahorse all the way home. 

Lovely time.

POSTCARDS from the Seattle Aquarium.

 

Window on the Sound

Tidal wall

Emmie found the Octopus hiding underneath a huge rock

Patient throughout face painting

Here's looking at you

This fish kept flirting with the girls while we were awaiting feedings 

Feeding time

Cute!

Emmie

Mairead

Looking for big sis

Harbor Seal

See the dolphin before it fades away

Feeding time - part 2

Seagull trying to snag a fish mid toss

End of Feeding time

Handsome fur seal

Leaving the Aquarium

A girl & her seahorse