Evolving Sweetie

Tulip Festival

Sunday I spent the morning with Heather & the nieces at the Tulip Festival. Finally color in the fields!  We spent our time in Tulip Town. After we walked through these fields, the time and crowds were getting weary. It was a fun and beautiful morning. I wasn't as successful with the pictures of the girls. Between getting them to look at you & not having the distorted "cheese" face - but they look beautiful in the fields. I'm borrowing some of Heather's pictures below of me with the girls (YAH!) and the group of us (Double YAH!).

Hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday.

POSTCARDS from the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival, WA

Project Spring Clean - part 1

Moving in slow gear today. Pleased to say that I finished enough clutter projects to divest my home of a car load of stuff. By the looks of the Value Village drop off, I'm not the only one engaged in this process. So long to 3 bags of clothing, 2 bins of books, a fan, 1 large bin of miscellaneous decorations, a box filled with indoor planting pots and a comforter. 

Still more work to do in the next few weeks. Happy to see progress.

 

09 goals - 1/3 review

Glancing at my 2009 vision board this morning it hit me that we are close to 33% done with this year. Time really flies. Decided to do a spot check. 

Status thus far:

• Employment!!! A huge relief on so many levels. Surprisingly the most prominent one to me - the structure it gives my life. And the social interaction. A

• Creativity: blogging still going strong, taking photos more consistently, took felting class. Need to carve out more time for knitting, felting, personal writing and learning new things.  B+

• Spirituality: doing lots of reading and exploring new ideas. In depth researching a spiritual community. Like to spend more meditation time. B    

• Health: these goals have had little movement on them beyond the planning stage. Next area to hone in focus on. D+    

• Personal life: seeing friends more regularly, laughing often. Loving facebook for reconnecting with old friends & keeping tabs on everyone. Aunt/Family time still less often than I want - but great when it happens. Working towards mentally being prepared to venture into dating. Processing more grief issues. B-   

Helps highlight those areas to concentrate on. Movement on the health goals will give me more energy overall to kick everything else into higher gear. For being a third of the way through the year, I'm pleased with my overall progress.

  
  

Thursday Musings

Rain has come home again to the PNW. Well, we had a short reprieve....

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Welcome to the world - Emma & Amelia! You've chosen amazing people to be your parents. 

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Happy to have spent time catching up with S last night. And thankful for yummy Princess Snow Pea left overs for lunch.

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Keep waking up before the alarm. What's up with that?

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Life is more precious when I take the time to snuggle with my two bundles of kitty love.

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Taking a leap of faith and enrolled in a spiritual class this week. 

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Singing at the top of you lungs to your favorite song while commuting makes slow traffic much more enjoyable.

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Sending love out to my honey - Chuck. Miss you sweetie.

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Saturday needs to be spent claiming my condo back from the chaos. Enjoy my space so much more when it is calmer. Right now I'm in the middle of many sorting/purging projects that I need to buckle down and finish. 

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My deck is growing in beautifully. One hosta is happily unfolding it's leaves. The others are starting to push through the dirt.Leaves are beginning to unfold on the Japanese Maple. And the mint is growing like a weed. The dill is the only unhappy plant - in search of more sun. Must replant it.

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And finally, excited to hear about G's trip to the Big Easy at dinner this evening. And to attend this American Life's movie theater broadcast this evening. It'll be fun to see how one of my favorite radio shows comes together.

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Happy thursday - one day closer to the weekend!

Bring on the Swans

A new start to Tuesday is necessary. Woke up from a bizarre nightmare at 5:45 am that included:

• my car being stripped to the frame - twice.
• living in a ghetto walking home alone at midnight. 
• fighting over a dyson vacuum - a weird running theme.
• running away with 2 good friends from a would be murder that looked quite like a member from Desperate Housewives. Not anyone you'd expect to be a crazy stalker.
• finally waking myself up when in our escape we got into a car only to discover the tires were slashed. 

I didn't want to see how this turned out. Ever mention that I rarely remember dreams? Maybe a handful a year. Normally, they are disturbing. And the only ones that linger are the ones I forcefully wake myself up from. 

Suffice to say, I want to restart this morning with other images in my head. Looking for peaceful, relaxing images I stopped at these two pics from Chuck's & my visit to Brugge, Belgium. Floating on a boat with the swans.

    

Ahhh, that's better.

Little Wink from the Universe

Woke up this morning - worried. Let you in on it if turns out to be more than a figment of my imagination. During my commute the mind was traveling at 100 miles per hour. What ifs and all their potential mayhem. I yearned for a bit of comfort. This AM that translated into a dark chocolate mocha from Tullys. As I pulled up to the drive-thru window, the baristas told me that the cute little blue Mini ahead if me had paid for my coffee in pay-it-forward fashion. As I pulled away touched by the kindness of a random stranger tears filled my eyes. The message received was that come what may, whatever I truly need will be provided in unexpected ways. 

Do the Puyallup - Spring Version

Sunshine graced the PNW this weekend. It's been fun. My neighborhood was hopping with the Library's spring book sale, Children's Hospital plant sale and a large rummage sale. While I kept the financial damage to a minimum, I did add 30 books that I need to figure out where to store. Sigh! I know I have a problem...

Saturday evening was the Parkers annual Tiki Party. Cranked up the heat and we all donned our summer wear. Fun time as always. Happy 40th Parker - welcome to the club!

Since the Tulips were still not blooming, we decided to head down south and go to the Spring Puyallup Fair today. Quality family & Aunt Jeannette time - I LOVE IT! It's a miniature version of the large Fall Extravaganza. But the prerequisites - fair food, rides and animals - were all there. What else do you need? Emmie's favorite animal is piggies. We were all excited to see her reaction to the barn full of them. She was in hog heaven (yes, the pun was intended, thank you.) 

Piggies Em!

Mairead's favorite - horses - were in the 2nd barn. All of the miniature variety. Our girls were taller than them.

Here's your horses honey.

The family shot worked better this week!

Next stop was to find the Piggie Races. A short, fun little show with miniature pigs racing for oreo cookies. The bandstand was full. Aunt Nette lucked out and got a seat on the ground with 2 girls in her lap. Wished I could've snapped a picture of it. We had a blast! My turn to be in heaven.

Here they come...

There they go.

Em sporting the Pig Nose.

With all trips to the fair-grounds, the experience is not complete without sampling the cuisine. While Mike & the girls scoped out a funnel cake, Heather & I hunted down the famous Fisher scones. You can't go to the Puyallup without a hot, dripping with raspberry jam scone.

As we made our way to the kiddieland rides, the girls needed to rest their feet. Too bad they aren't tall enough to have their feet reach the massage plate. The girls each picked a ride. Mairead - the hot air balloons and Emily - the airplanes. Looks like fun.

Kiddieland Bear.

Waiting for the ride to start. Are we having fun yet?

Up and away!

This is my favorite shot of the day.

Time for the Airplanes.

Next up was to find lunch before we all headed home to settle down for a nap! The girls & Mike opted for hotdogs/corndogs. The sisters honed in on cheeseburgers. Yummy!

Tired little girl loving her Daddy!

Pig nose round 2 - we lost one during our snack venture. 

Lunch spot.

Mmmm meat on a stick!

Ketchup face.

Final piggie face for the day.

Thanks for sharing our fun morning at the Puyallup Spring Fair.

Friday Night Redesign

Survived my first week back into the working world. As with all new jobs, there are adjustments and ropes to learn. The company is small. Everyone seems to be really nice, quirky and dedicated. Should fit right in soon. All in all I'd give the week an A-.

Surprised how gut-level happy I was to be back into a routine and productive. A true worker-bee by nature. And extremely thankful in this economy to be back to work.

There was a side-effect to working that I was blind-sided with last evening. The transition from the work week to my time that happens on Friday nights. Since Chuck has been gone, it's been one of my struggle points. No matter what happened the rest of the week, friday night dinner was always our reconnection ritual. Whether we ate out or brought food home, it marked the survival of another week and the re-entry point to our time.  After 6 months of being out of the work-force with each day blending into the next, this transition didn't exist.

How unexpected it was last night to have that familiar panic return. The urgent need to call friends with futility to arrange last minute plans. Ever noticed how last minute becomes 2+ weeks notice as you age and your commitments grow? Came home defeated, feeling trapped in a web of loneliness and grief. Snuggled with the kitties for 30 minutes or so desperately trying to figure out how to pull myself up by my boot-straps. 

Then it hit me. Redefine how I view Friday nights. The kitties after days of little attention were thrilled to have me all to themselves. Remembering the decadence of not cooking, I decided to reclaim Friday dinner as my take-out splurge night. And to set the evening aside as my own free time to enjoy however I choose. My monthly chick-flick friday dates with my girlfriends, well it goes without saying, there is never a better choice!

In the end, I delighted myself by dusting off my attitude. And blissfully enjoyed spending an evening in with the kitties, Pagliacci delivered pizza/chocolate gelato and watched the M's come back in splendid fashion to beat the Detroit Tigers. A fabulous, relaxing start to the weekend.

Pink Clouds

Magnolias are in bloom. Time to drift into pink clouds.

Nielsen's

Grief is such a paradox. It seems the times I soar high, the very next moment plummets me into despair. Opposites striking in contrast. This past holiday weekend the grief attacks struck again. As much fun as I had at the Easter Egg hunt, I sank starting my ride home. The absence of Chuck left me reeling, saddened by the moments he is missing. And being surrounded by community left me homesick for our old stomping grounds of Queen Anne. Feeling restless and stricken, I decided to drive through our neighborhood. Surprisingly, it wasn't the house we lived in for 4 years that was calling me. It was my part of the hood, lower QA that I needed to visit. Site of my single years in Seattle. And the backdrop of our dating period. A time flushed with new love. When every discovery is a jewel to be treasured. Just being in each other's presence meant the world. I haven't visited this place in my memory for eons. So much life lived between now and then. My travels lead me to the little Danish Bakery two blocks from my old apartment. I'd drown in the heavenly smells of this bakery on early morning walks. And it became our little Saturday morning ritual. We'd loop to Cafe Ladro for coffee and end up at Nielsen's for their sinfully delicious pastries. Some rainy mornings we'd rock/paper/scissor to see who'd make the run and end up snuggled together in bed reading and eating their delicacies. The happiness we felt establishing...US. Our own secret world. 

Naturally, I ordered our favorites and scoped out a table. The place hasn't changed at all in these years. Same decor, same signage, same pastries....same everything. How wrong then that Chuck was not sitting across from me grinning over his cream/marzipan potato savoring every bite. How sad to cry over such yummy delights. Yet, my soul needed to be reminded of who we were fresh out of the gate. And my heart needed to cry over our lost innocence. Our loss life. 

Maybe it is part of the healing journey to walk backward through time. Perhaps the nudging my mind is doing toward re-engaging in dating needed the reminder of how early love awakens and blossoms. Mementoes of the fun and joy that weaving a life together with someone produces to counterbalance the fears, dread and insecurity of first dates. Reminder that I didn't always know Chuck like myself. That even with a soulmate there is discovery, rituals to build, trust to be earned, and all that unfolds in time. 

And maybe, just maybe, Chuck wanted confirmation that those potato pastries were just as good as he remembered. And trust me honey, they sure are.