Evolving Sweetie

The Beast

No one expects to get rear-ended while moving. It's not part of our cautionary engrained patterns. A little VW bug took on the business end of my Blazer on Wednesday night. I didn't see it coming as I was glancing to the left to check for availability to change lanes. A crash is never a welcoming sound. Especially when it involves the jolt of being party to it.

We pulled along side the road in the pitch black to survey the damage. What a way for strangers to meet. She was tumbling over apologies and inquiries to my state of being. And I worried about her health for judging by the state of our cars - she bore the majority of the impact. Story was simple. Drink slips from hand spilling, rolling under foot and in the ensuing distraction not enough braking time.

It's no secret that I'm not in love with my car that we've dubbed "The Beast". It's a big white elephant of a truck. It's not stylish, comfortable, economical or subtle. But surveying the accordion that once was a hood, the crunched radiator oozing shiny black on the pavement and the busted headlights like a black eye on the little bug, I was grateful. For my brute of a car did exactly what Chuck wanted it for, it kept his family safe.

Upon glancing at my car you can't tell it was in an accident. The adjustor said that my bummers are built really solid. As a bumper should be in my humble opinion. But The Beast escaped with only $350 of damage and I only suffered some muscle soreness for a few days. 

Pretty miraculous for a scary bump in the night.

Grounding Force

One of the lovely aspects of my relationship with Chuck was how much of a grounding presence he was for me. His confidence, loyalty and steadiness helped anchor my frenetic energy. Masculinity vibrates at a different frequency than femininity. My life has been sorely missing this balance. 

Over the past few weeks it's been highlighted to me in the work environment. We added a counter-part to me. His calm, steady and playful manner has been soothing presence for us all. I truly notice the release of some pressure and a shift in calmness for me. It's such a relief on so many levels. And the change is not just in my energy, I've observed this soothing in all my team members. What a delightful difference one person can make.

And we've recently added someone whom I'm excited to work with anywhere, anytime. We make a great team and wonderful friends. His energy, humor, integrity and playfulness have sorely been missed. Work hasn't been the same without him. I'm thrilled to see what we all can accomplish as a team and company now. 

This grounding happening in my work life will definitely help preserve some of my energy for my creative and personal goals. A shift for the better.

Assignment Time

Note to self. Your favorite time of year is calling. Grab your camera, a patch of sun and PLAY this weekend! Your creative side is feeling neglected.

Happy Fall!

 

 

Degrees of Separation

Little did I know that the cookie recipes I was gushing over on Monday from Caprial's Desserts were close to home. I didn't realize that Caprial is my friend B's, mom's god-daughter. What a wonderful surprise! That made my day on Monday..... 2 Degrees of Separation.

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Today was pretty challenging at work. Somedays, you keep running in circles, feeling unaccomplished at the end of it all. That's why it's called work I suppose. Still, I get a thrill when I see my projects out in the world. While it may only be a sign to you, to me it represents the heart, hours and yes, sometimes tears of mine and my colleagues that brought it to life. So I will point out my sign posts to you with pride as we pass them by..... 1 Degree of Separation. 

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Facebook. What a wonderful and strange phenomenon. It short-hands our relationships. And keeps us interconnected to people we've long untangled from. I love the glimpses into friends and family members lives that you normally aren't privy. And the real time vacation photos and commentaries are great fun. But truthfully, I only tend to comment on people I interact with in real time giving a false sense of connectedness. The rest of the time it's a voyeuristic thrill..... Multiple degrees of Separation masquerading as 1.

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Sweet thank you note authored and signed by my lovely 5 year old niece Mairead. Brightest spot of today. Loved it.......1 Degree of Separation - the best one of all.

Lesson in Gratitude

Something has happened this year. More and more people I know are opening themselves to helping their neighbors in need. It's a sign of community. A call to contribute. A want to share blessings and give back in any small way. 

My friend Ryan has been organizing groups of friends to cook and serve a meal for a women's shelter every few months this year. This past Saturday night it was the Ivey crew's time to represent. The men folk brought the main courses - chicken chili and beef stew. And we ladies provided dessert, salad, beverages and bread. As you can tell from my previous post - I was on dessert detail. I really wanted to bring some homemade comfort and happiness. And it brought smiles like I hoped. It was a treat for them. And a pleasure for me to spend my afternoon to provide.

The experience was very humbling. How lucky I am that everyone I love and care for has shelter, privacy and food on the table. The lady running the shelter was excited that we brought milk as it is a commodity that they don't get very often. My blood ran cold. I can't drink the milk I buy fast enough. How is it something I take for granted can be such a precious commodity?  

Thank you Ryan for setting this opportunity up and including me in your cause. Brian, Rachel & Della - it was great fun to share the experience with you all.

Sign me up again, anytime. 

Visiting

Living away from your hometown comes with a high price tag. Bounty paid in time lost. Sunday dinners, football games, impromptu outings and meaningful celebrations. While Seattle is my soul's homeport and I'm happily converted to being a PNW dweller, reminders of the cost are always in the under tow.

My mother came to visit this past weekend to celebrate Mairead's 5th birthday. It was a rare occasion that she stayed at my place.  Thoroughly enjoyed getting the opportunity for some quiet and motherly visits in my own home. It's just a different vibe than lunches at restaurants and dividing time between being an in demand Aunt and a daughter. It was a wonderful, whirlwind visit.

For living so far away from my parents and best friend (currently living in Belgium), I do a great job at keeping consistent contact. Free long-distance and the internet have made our world so much smaller and distant more manageable. But after each in person visit, I'm woefully reminded what my world is missing...the hugs, the smiles, the expressions and the unique energy that each person brings with them. The ache for so much more echos for a time until life and its hectic pace drowns it out. And once again the dance of phone calls and emails begin. 

And that's how life is living away from home...brief, intense, concentrated togetherness followed by long periods of draught. 

Dreaming About You

It's been a while since I've posted. Life has been hectic. Last weekend was filled with friends and family and alot of fun. The work week has been crazy busy and long. Busy is a good thing, but that means little home time and only energy to veggie and snuggle the kitties. Thankfully, I'm upon the weekend once again.

Something wonderful did happen this week. I dreamt of Chuck. While this is quite possibly a nightly, non-news worthy occurrence I only remember a handful of dreams each year. And most he is in the subject matter, but doesn't appear. Early tuesday morning I dreamt about coming home from a long trip. As the train was pulling into the station, I watched him excitedly pacing the platform in anticipation of seeing me. The push of the crowds kept us separated throughout moving through the station. Figuring we'd meet up at home, I suddenly was in my childhood living room and he was not. Some moments of sadness passed and the doorbell rang. As I opened the door a rush of friends and family crowded the doorway. And there he was on the porch corner radiant, smiling and lovingly waiting his turn to greet me. A flood of love, joy, relief and peace washed over me. Then I awoke.

Content wise it's not that exciting of a dream. But the remembrance of how Chuck moved in the world, healthy and whole; and how he looked at me as my lover, partner and friend was much needed medicine to my soul. Even throughout this frantic week it grounded me like I've not been in a long time. 

The memory of being loved echos on.

A Wish for Peace

Today, I wish for peace and healing for our nation. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones. For this day - I remember.

Easy Solution - A

Ok - I'm going to wax poetic on a cleaning appliance. I know that's pretty lam! But I discovered the Scotch-Brite cooktop cleaner this weekend. It rocks for those of us that have a flat top stove. It's basically a handle with a solution soaked pad. Cleaned up very hard baked on stains in a fraction of the time and effort. I'll happily buy the replacement pads and save many hours of frustrated scrubbing. 

Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Not Enough Time

It's funny that no matter how much time you have, it's never enough. This was a very low-key holiday weekend for me. I saw a few friends a couple nights - but mostly was a home body. Needed major cocoon time. Missed a few exciting plans because I just wasn't up for it. Some weekends are like that.      

And although I made headway on chores this weekend, there is always so much more to do. Granted, I didn't work in a non-stop, possessed manner. Alas, it astounds me how little I got accomplished this weekend. Guess I just needed a puttering, meandering weekend to recharge some of my batteries. 

That worked for me just fine.